Category: 2015

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TADAH

I have been pondering bringing back a club I once had called TADAH, or The Association of Delightfully Alive Humans. When I first began my career as a stress management consultant I was struck by the amount of people I met who spent inordinate amounts of time complaining about their lives. While I acknowledge that life can be filled with a lot of difficult situations and tragic circumstances, I also know that in the everyday of our existence there is also much to be grateful for. We may have to dig deep, but if you are able to breathe on your own, walk, and have shelter, you have a few things going your way. I began advocating for participants in my workshops to try a simple TADAH when they woke up, or when they met a family member or friend, as a way to express joy in the moment. It transitioned into a club and helped create a like minded community.

The irony of how I developed the concept came from my attendance at a wellness conference. I was struck by the absence of enthusiasm and joy from participants who were there to explore techniques on how to be happier, healthier, human beings.

One afternoon, a child of about three waltzed down the hotel corridor, twirled, lifted her arms, and yelled, “TADAH”! Several adults stopped dead in their tracks. At that instant, I knew they had grasped the absurdity of the situation. The child knew what they had paid hundreds of dollars to find out: how to enjoy life in the moment.

We are now a part of a culture that is ten times more stressed than the individuals I started seeing years ago. There seems to be less and less available time for people to enjoy their lives. Leisure time, fun, and social gatherings with family and friends must be scheduled. When I mention throwing your arms up in the air and yelling TADAH as a possible intervention for stress, people look at me like I’m nuts. After all that takes time and the people around you might think you’re taking drugs, or need some therapy.

Believe it or not, was a scientific study done by Dr. John Cacioppo Ph.D., that concluded that throwing your arms up into the air can lift your spirits. Now if you add an enthusiastic TADAH to it at the same time, some magic might just happen.

You may be resistant to what I’m suggesting, but I firmly believe that trying techniques that help us to embrace life whether they’re serious or delirious just might protect our minds, bodies and spirits from the stressful society we live in. Remember it’s much easier to “do” whatever it is you’re doing if you can “TADAH” while you’re doing it!

 

 

 

 

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Dimming Memories or Lies?

When I was thirteen my mother sent me to a Catholic boarding school. She had to work and felt I would be safer and also get the benefit of an excellent education. However, it was analogous to a Marine boot camp! We had a strict regimen: up a five thirty, mass at six o:clock, back to our rooms to make beds, breakfast, study hall, than classes till three. After our classes, free time till 4, outdoor activity till five, dinner at 5: 30, study hall and then lights out at 8. The rules and regulations were to be followed without excuses or whining. If you tried to outwit the good sisters, you were “in for it”,

There was no corporal punishment. You were told the error of your ways, and either had to go to detention or say hundreds of “Our Fathers” and “Hail Mary’s” in order to gain absolution. You learned to not try to weasel your way out of things very early on.

My boarding school days flashed before my eyes when I read of the latest, greatest, scandal which centered around Brian Williams the CBS nightly news anchor. It seems he reported he falsely recounted a story that he was in a helicopter that was hit by ground fire in 2003. One of the higher-ups said he “misrepresented events”. Another word used was that he possibly ” misremembered”. Is it possible for our memories to dim or can we embellish them over the years? Absolutely! However we are now in the era of “doublespeak” where we create words that make the bad seem good, make lies sound honest, and negative events seem positive. Basic to doublespeak according to Kathy Kellerman is incongruity -“the incongruity between what is said, or left unsaid, and what really is.”

The first word I heard that fit the above criteria was “downsizing”. Corporate cultures decided that it would ease the pain of just being fired. I’m sure millions of people on unemployment felt soothed when they explained they were downsized. Doublespeak grew over the years. Some of it is quite comical. I would be considered ” vertically challenged” and ” horizontally impaired” instead of simply short and pudgy. A garbage man is now a ” sanitation engineer”. A psycho is a  “pathologically high-spirited” individual, “pre-owned” instead of used or possibly beat up, ” person of interest” instead of suspect in a crime, “ill-advised” instead of a very bad idea. One if my favorites “negative patient care outcome” which means the patient died. Oh, there are many more and I’m sure many more to come.

When is a lie, a lie, or how do we discern fantasy from reality? How do we create a moral compass for future generations if we continually “misremember” the direction we’re going in?