Big Duh Men and Women Are Not Alike!

I just heard about yet another study on the differences in male/female behavior. When are we going to finally understand that we are not the same. It is essentially a big DUH !

Get a group of guys together about last week’s golf game. What will you hear? Unless it’s talk about the weather, more often than not you’ll hear them brag about how well they did: best game I ever played.” “You should have seen me hit right to the green on the seventeenth hole. It was beautiful.” Men like to reinforce their dominant position. Whenever they’re in a position of having won, of beating out a competitor or leading the tribe to victory, they want everyone to know it and admire it. Women, on the other hand, usually feel very uncomfortable in similar situations and more than likely will do the opposite. If they’re talking to other women about themselves it will likely be in a disparaging way. “Oh, I feel so fat today.” Or “ My hair really looks awful today. No matter what products I use, it always looks the same. I just can’t win.” Why? Because women know that talking about their own insecurities will draw other women in and make them instinctively comfortable. Women want to bond with other women, they want to complete the circle and create an aura of mutual nurturing. Men don’t have that need and actually get a kick out of ragging on each other. Their primal programming drives them to strive to put each other down, and helps to amuse the group.

This behavior seems to create closeness and the clarification of where they stand in the pecking order. They rarely try to boast each other’s egos. It is taken for granted that each member of the group feels good about themselves. To show weakness in this area would be to show vulnerability. A trait that is not considered a male strength. On the other hand women love to share their problems and their image issues. It brings us closer together and feeds our caretaking needs. In fact we can go on and on for hours about problems that affect us and others, even individuals that are friends of friends of ours. Men might off handedly mention that someone had a heart attack, but they don’t spend an inordinate amount of time adding small details like what their cholesterol count was prior to the attack, and how they should have eaten better. The bottom line is it can all be pretty amusing, and the more we can laugh with each other about our differences, the better we’ll get along!

 

Sex is part of a LARGER picture.

I have often wondered why America seems so at odds with its’ sexuality and aging. Europeans have always seemed to be more relaxed about nudity and sex even as they age.

When I was visiting the French Riviera as a young woman, I was in awe of the women walking topless along the boardwalk, many of whom not very young. They did not appear to have any concerns about not having youthful bodies. They even dare to put older women and men being romantic and sexy in their movies. We rarely do that and if we do it’s viewed as an anomaly.

When I saw “It’s Complicated” I loved the fact that they had finally made a movie that allowed the actors to look their age and still be sexy and seductive. We, on the other hand are always showcasing youth in almost every aspect of the media. Reality shows are rife with women and men that look like they’ve been botoxed from head to toe. Nothing moves.

Any advertisements I’ve seen for erectile dysfunction always has youthful looking partners. Where are the sixty, seventy, and eighty and ninety year olds? I guess their considered dead in that department. The irony is that research shows that older people actually have more sex than their younger counterparts. Probably because they have more time, or maybe they realize that it’s more important than returning e-mails, texting or talking on their blackberry’s. Years ago Time magazine had a couple sitting on a bed with a headline over it “DINK” (duel income no sex).

Oprah got on the bandwagon and had a show with a few young couples that complained they had no time for each other, because of jobs, children and other obligations. The Psychologist who was there to give advice told them they needed to put a date to “get it on” in their organizers. I found this to be so hilarious that it had me giggling for days. Now the overwhelmed couple could look forward to another “job” on Friday night. Maybe as we get older we recognize that sex is part of a larger picture. That it begins with how we treat each other through words, actions and deeds.

Tenderness, kindness, thoughtfulness, respect and compassion are part of feeling connected and wanting more. Great abs, a tight butt, and abundant cleavage without the aforementioned may be exciting for a while. But it gets old and so do we.