Things just aren’t how they should be.

I am not only beginning to sound like my mother, but also like my grandmother. When I observe and discuss the culture today with my peers I can see and hear my Italian grandmother Francesca in my head saying: “le cose da un altro mondo”. This saying means “things from another world”. Of course her body language enhanced the words, for she would look towards heaven, arms extended upwards as if in prayer. She was always praying, so perhaps she thought somehow she would receive an answer.

The fact of the matter is that things change and we are often at the mercy of  thinking of how things were or how they “should” be. I find myself questioning whether I have become a dinosaur. In some ways I have to stand firm in my belief that we have transitioned into a society that seems to be perennially occupied with gadgets, gizmos, selfies, the pursuit of fame and an almost obsessive need to be busy and self-absorbed.. I suppose that sounds rather condemning, but those who research societal norms seem to agree that we are very disconnected and fragmented. No, it’s not all doom and gloom, but a lot of our culture has become dark and gloomy.

There seems to be a constant need to report all manner of bad news 24/7 and it’s often done in a garrulous fashion. Oh, there are still a couple of anchors that resemble the days of Walter Cronkite and others. However, more often than not it’s a panel of individuals vying for their ten minutes of fame by over talking one another or using insults as a way to appear hip. The Presidential campaign has become a mud-slinging event. It reminds me of the title of a book I have called “ A Confederacy of Dunces”. It feels like I’m back in grade school with kids who used to yell “ Your mother has a mustache”, which now appears angelic compared to some of the remarks we hear daily.

The lack of dignity and respect for others does not only resonate in the political arena, but seems to permeate the world of entertainment. The so-called realty show franchises are filled with cat fights and name calling. Perhaps the media moguls should build a replica of the coliseum and put all these folks in it with a couple of Tigers so we can see a “real” cat fight. I have seen snippets of these shows and others like the Bachelor and Bachelorette series just so I can continue to add to my stash of ludicrous media mindlessness.

So what if anything is there to do about the above and more? I will continue to see the insanity and humor inherent in it. But more importantly, I can only make sure I don’t become part of it!



Only you can rescue YOU.

There is so much written today about finding one’s soulmate. Books written about the subject are rampant, and the authors give suggestions on how to find this person that is made to fit you like a glove. He or she will be your spiritual counterpart. You won’t even have to speak for them to know what you’re thinking.

When I was a young woman, the word soul mate was not a word used to describe a potential partner. My generation was waiting for the prince or the princess. Fairy tales were rife with content about the prince rescuing the damsel in distress, or how kissing a frog would turn it into a prince. Believe me when I tell you that I kissed a lot of frogs and all I got was a frog!

Unfortunately I got hooked into believing that “someday my prince would come.” I desperately wanted to be rescued from what I considered to be a difficult life, living with my mother and my stepfather, who seemed to thrive on not getting along. I thought that if the prince came along, he would save me and we would live happily ever after. What I didn’t know was that it’s very difficult to create a healthy relationship with another person if you have never been privileged to see one.

I wish I had paid more attention to how my grandparents managed to stay together for over 60 years. They seemed to go with the flow. They fought here and there throughout the day, then went on to talk about what they were going to eat, or what relative was driving them crazy. The interesting thing about their relationship was that it was an arranged marriage Their Italian parents decided they were a good match. Perhaps there’s something to that. I have read some research that arranged marriages have fewer divorces. Although I must say that if my mother thought my stepfather was good for her, what would she have chosen for me? Attila the Hun?

Deciding to be in a partnership is not something to be taken lightly. Finding a compatible mate takes the ability to communicate well, to understand each other’s foibles, and to make sure your values are concomitant. If you have to constantly convince the other person of how you think or feel, you might as well just become a lawyer and be done with it. It’s also not fair to badger someone into being just like you. That’s called a clone and you’ll need to buy a petri dish to help you out.

More importantly, the most viable lesson we can learn is that the only person that is going to “rescue you” is you. You are the prince or princess!

%d bloggers like this: