The Gift that Keeps Giving

Well, I’m full of turkey, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, a myriad of appetizers, lasagna, and slices of ricotta, pecan, and Boston cream pie. My goal was not to eat too much on Thanksgiving Day, and I didn’t, since my attention was on cooking and serving my guests. However, all promises to myself about being moderate went bye, bye, the next day. It was as if I had an internal “pac man” that needed to be fed over and over. I also could not quell the internal dialogue that kept focusing on telling me to try the leftovers. I found myself walking in the direction of the refrigerator as if I had become part of a zombie cult.

I awoke Saturday, the day after my glutenous noshing to over-eaters guilt and a body that felt somewhat analogous to a hot air balloon! Where did all my good intentions go? Obviously they were plucked out of my conscious mind leaving me hypnotized by the contents of the refrigerator.

This is not the first time I have gone down this path. I have struggled with my weight for the greater part of my life. Ten pounds up, ten pounds down, fifteen pounds up, fifteen pounds down, twenty pounds up, twenty pounds down. The cycle keeps repeating itself according to where I am in life. I’ve actually achieved a good weight at times through being incredibly vigilant. I’ve done all the things that the weight-loss police have advocated, portion control, exercise, food diaries, etc. There’s no doubt that they work, but then something happens, like the birth of my children, divorce, being a care-taker for an elderly parent, earning a living, or having health problems. It doesn’t have to be a serious problem that precipitates over-eating. It could be going on a vacation, or celebrating a holiday.

I’ve tried a plethora of diets, and a lot of them work. However, I really want to have an entourage of individuals that makes sure I don’t deviate from my goals. After all why can’t I lose twenty pounds in three weeks like the movie stars that are showcased as models for the rest of us. They have babies and fit into clothes they wore as toddlers right after the baby is born. I look like I never gave birth.

I know some of you are thinking,”you can do it”, just write you affirmations, stop eating gluten, eat less, and walk more. And believe me I haven’t given up. But I do accept a certain reality. I will never be “sylph like”. I have gained and lost a tribe of people, so there are more of me around that you might recognize. By the way, enjoy your leftovers!

Here in the age of dysfunction, seek real success!

Over the years many of the people I have done workshops and keynote presentations for have asked me “how did you get to do what you do”? Some of them feel that they would like to walk a similar path and want advice as to how to follow in my footsteps. My usual response has been to tell them that we would have to spend a couple of days together in order for me to tell them the whole story. My journey to becoming an author, speaker and being on PBS took many years and was fraught with difficulty and hard times. I realize there are many similar stories, but I also have witnessed how much easier it is today to become “famous”. Andy Warhol’s predication that everyone would attain fifteen minutes of fame is now truly available. It really doesn’t matter if you’ve worked hard at your craft, studied, networked, or focus on being the best you can be. That type of criteria used to be the template for success. Today, if you can do something, anything that is considered bizarre, rude or dysfunctional, and you put yourself on YouTube, you have a good chance of “being discovered”. A case in point is Rebecca Black’s “Friday” video. It has had over 100,000 viewers. A company called Ark Music Factory will fly your child, who needs to be between the ages of 13-17 ,to Los Angeles, will write her a ”hit”, record it in a super-compressed auto tuned compression, shoot an edge detection overlay video and BAM!, your child can notch up a couple of thousand hits on YouTube and watch your dreams of being a pop-star parent percolate. No matter whether, you’re vegetable, mineral, or a bug, you can now make a fortune if you know how to work the viral community. How does any of this help us learn how to handle the inevitable ups and downs of arriving at our goals? Our failures are just as important as our successes. It seems that today failure is not an option and cannot be experienced since everyone is told they are capable of being able to do anything. Singing in particular can be manipulated by equipment to make you sound as if you can really sing. And even if you can’t there are plenty of people who will make you famous because you made a fool of yourself. Frankly I’m going to hold onto what I learned from my family of origin. Work hard at what you want to do, and do it with excellence in mind. Don’t get full of yourself and believe you’re better than you are. Be grateful towards those who help you along the way and never take your successes for granted.


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