Don’t allow “Brain Drain”…Let go of the baggage.

So many people I know are caught up not only in trying to find out who made them stressed and miserable but also in storing the information and cataloging it for future use. I call this “baggage handling” because after a while, we have so much past misery that we need suitcases to put them in. We may even need a Sherpa to carry them.

My grandmother Francesca could have been the curator of the Smithsonian. She was amazing at recalling past history (mostly miserable). My mother was pretty good at storing old stuff too. I inherited some of it, but have been able to process it differently through some time in therapy and my sense of humor.

It is important to differentiate between what you need to hang on to and what to let go of. Many individuals have been traumatized severely from incidents that occurred in the past. History has taught us that if we don’t recall and heal the injustices, it becomes more difficult to heal them. Therefore, it is healthy to identify what has caused you pain, to gain insight, and, it is hoped, to move forward.

This is not always an easy task, for those who have been emotionally wounded often suffer physically. For example, parts of the brain seem to function differently in those who suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. We can no longer separate the mind from the body; one is witness to the other. There are many wonderful therapists who can help to heal the past and allow it to become a path to a more resilient future.

On the other hand, some baggage shouldn’t even go into the overnight case. So many situations are just a brain drain. I often ask people to write down their stressors, and invariably someone will tell me how upset they get when a co-worker takes extra time at lunch. One woman went on and on about how awful this was. I asked her how long she had been aggravated about this situation and she responded, “Twenty years.” So for twenty years she had been storing this nugget of misery without trying to find a solution.

She also had the need to be a martyr. She felt it was no use to try to do anything, since no one seemed to care that she was being taken advantage of. So now we have a great blend—a martyr with baggage.

Once we have a lot of baggage, navigating life becomes harder and harder. The emotions of resentment, anger and feeling neglected make it difficult to enjoy life to the fullest. Try to make a list of what you’ve been storing and see if you can’t make a point of letting go of what will never change. The freedom you will obtain is well worth the effort. You will no longer be a slave to your mind.


Today human beings are searching for answers for the simplest of questions when all they need is a little common sense.

It appears that the culture we live in today is inundated with individuals who seem to have the answer to everything we do from how to breathe correctly to how to die.  Human beings have been searching for answers since the beginning of time. But, the questions used to be more profound. Why am I here and what is my purpose?

  Over the years those questions have somehow become part of the back drop for a plethora of individuals who offer answers to an incredible host of mediocre concepts. Books and blogs that encompass subjects that heretofore simply needed a good dose of self-reflection have become common place. If you want to be happy, and who doesn’t, you can find at least a thousand books on the subject. The problem is that you simply can’t be happy all the time. We do need the contrast of other emotions. Sick of individuals that are hard to get along with? Just look up “toxic people” and you’ll find tons of material on how to get rid of them. It could be everyone you know or it just might be that you’re the toxic one! Now that revelation might help the rest of us.

 Can’t lose weight? Well we’re all aware of how many times have been written on that subject. Isn’t it interesting that the amount of diet books written have still not reduced obesity in America? We should all look like sticks. Relationships are a hot topic! How to find the right partner, how to train your partner to listen to you, and how to get rid of your partner seem to be quite popular. Want to be successful and be financially solvent? Well you can always find ten ways, thirty steps, fifteen things to avoid, and voila your life becomes easy and your bank account full.

   Loving yourself is a very hot topic. If you can get to the place where you’re totally in love with yourself, you could actually date yourself and not have to read the book on finding a soul mate. I guess I need lots of help in this area. I don’t always love or like myself. It depends on the barometric pressure, whether I’ve slept well, or if my arthritis is in check.

   What’s really missing is common sense. Only that’s too boring! Imagine if we all thought about what we’re doing and how it affected us and those around us? What would happen? We might actually be happier, lose weight, hang with decent people, find a like-minded partner and just maybe, we’d like ourselves a little better.

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