The first time I became aware of the transition from my upbringing to my first grandchild’s was when my eldest son and his wife made a visit with their firstborn who had just turned two. They live a distance so they stayed for a few days. From morning till night I felt as if I was part of the Inquisition. No matter what the child was doing she was asked if she was comfortable, happy, did she want to change her activity, did she need a snack, or was she tired. If she said she wanted the snack, my daughter-in-law would turn into a waiter from a five-star restaurant with a menu including the specials of the day. Once the kid decided what she wanted, my daughter-in-law would ask her if what kind of dish she wanted it and in and what type of utensils she might need. After two days I was beside myself. I thought back to my mother and her drill sergeant tactics. “Clean your room than you can go out and play”, I don’t care who else is doing that, you’re not”, Eat everything on your plate, the people in China are starving”. Talking back was a non-issue and I believe that the majority of individuals that come from my generation have had the same experiences. Do I believe that it was all okay? No I do not. Some of us became compromised from having parents who gave no opportunity for explanations or questions, but many did not. However, what has followed has not necessarily all been good. The incessant need to make children feel good about every little thing they do has left some of them in vulnerable positions as adults. According to a recent article in USA Today, about job interviewing, many of the Millennials haven’t a clue how to interview. There are varying shades of appropriate behavior. They have been so coddled that they text, or take calls during an interview and come casually dressed, because they believe in being comfortable. One young girl even brought her cat. I am fascinated by the paradigm shift. I do not believe in parents as dictators but if kids are to grow up understanding how to be in the world, shouldn’t they be able to know the difference between sitting in your living room in your pajamas and going to interview for a managerial position with the president of human resources? Not unless the guy interviewing you is wearing pajamas too and holding his pet Siamese.
2 Replies to “Too many options and too much coddling leaves your child without a JOB.”
Further to my previous email, “optinons” in subject field should be “opinions” … Best, Karen
There’s much truth in this.