Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall…. I am totally in love with myself.


I find as I get older that I am becoming exceedingly impatient with what I perceive to be the cult of “obsessive self betterment”. I often surf the channels on my TV in order to get a pulse on  what’s happening, but more importantly it often gives me material for my books and columns. Last week I happened upon a popular talk show where one of the guests was airing  her dirty linens, as per usual. The rhetoric was familiar. Not enough love and acknowledgement had been given to her, leading her to marry and divorce several bad boys and give birth to enough children to fill a day care center. She was also overweight, was a heavy smoker and was addicted to shopping. The “expert’ concluded that once she was able to love herself unconditionally she would make better choices and therefore be able to sustain loving relationships. Now, I do agree with this to a certain degree, but let’s face it, how many of us are completely and totally enamored of ourselves? If I wait till I’m totally in love with myself before I can relate to others, I’ll be either exhausted, dead or living in a monastery. Self esteem, self-confidence,  self-expression, has become the mantra of the twenty-first century. Much of it has little or no fun attached to it. It seems in order to evolve you need a hair shirt mentality.

Is it possible for us all to get rid of our dysfunctional behaviors? And if we do what will happen to Jerry Springer?  Becoming a mature adult whose goals are to be more humane towards oneself and others is an admirable goal, but my grandmother had those concepts covered and she never read a self-help book. I also think she was too busy. When you’re making your own spaghetti, walking to stores, and don’t have a TV or a lot of magazines to tell you your chin hairs, floppy upper arms, and toxic parents are the cause of your misery, you essentially have no choice. Is that good? Who knows. That generation, often called the greatest generation, has researchers on longevity declaring them as  being the most resilient. Many of us now live with the illusion that once we can overcome all our limitations, the sky’s the limit and we’ll be eternally happy. This mentality is sure to produce more dysfunction. Somewhere in the middle lies a wholesome reality. It’s called “moderation”.

About lorettalaroche

An international stress management and humor consultant whose wit, and irreverent humor, has, for over 30 years raised the humor potential in all of us. She is on the Mass General advisory council for anxiety and depression and was recently awarded the National Humor Treasure Award. Loretta writes a weekly newspaper column called, 'Get a Life'.
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6 Responses to Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall…. I am totally in love with myself.

  1. Whoops…….forgot to add my website……

  2. John says:

    Kathy b:

    Have you checked your local library for DVD’s? I have found so many things to watch that I don’t miss TV at all.

  3. Kathy b says:

    I`m all for self improvent and definitely need to relax. I practice just BEING on Sundays and I love just listening to the birds and watching the clouds. Ditto for me with the TV and the newspaper. I am SO much happier choosing happy positive funny DVDs websites books than listening and reading the bad news of the day.

    • Kathleen Benttinen says:

      This is so uncanny….I am also Kathy b and if I had written the above statement those would have been my exact words. The only thing I would change would be that I practice just BEING everyday of the week but that’s because I am retired now and I have everyday to do this. My life is surrounded by nature and birds and deer. All of this is what gets me up every morning. I just love Loretta LaRoche and I just received a private invitation….because I am a Cancer survivor……. to attend her show at the Harold Alfond Cancer Center in Maine in September. Can’t wait to see her …… she brings joy and laughter to so many.

  4. Patty Rufo says:

    Wish I had those people back they could teach us a thing or two. I didn’t appreciate it then but I do now.

  5. John says:

    I think that the problem is not the mirror, but the television.

    There isn’t a problem out there that TV does not cover and cover in a way that will convince you, beyond any doubt that you have the problem and they have a way to make it go away.

    I turned off the TV two years ago and it is amazing how many problems just seemed to get switched off as soon as I switched it off. No more “restless leg syndrome”, no more “dry eye” and I got through May 21st without worrying about getting raptured.

    Or was I supposed to worry about not getting raptured?

    I don’t know, I wasn’t watching.

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