I Want to Rant About Things I Find Maddening.

I often wish I could have a radio show so that I could rant about the many things I see in our culture that I find maddening. Sometimes I just can’t believe how we have gotten to a place where so many things have become so incredibly involved and exhausting.

Why does it take so much effort to open the plastic bags the supermarkets have on a roll in the aisles for fruits and vegetables?

I have gone home with friction burns on my thumbs from rolling it between them in the hopes of getting it open. I found the same issue in some garbage bags I bought. I finally took a pair of scissors and cut it open and of course it was the wrong end.

New toilet paper rolls have been glued together so that finding the beginning tissue starts to feel like Russian roulette. I have shredded almost a whole role as I became more and more infuriated. It also takes a lot of time and that’s not exactly how I want to spend part of my day.

I’ve gone through the same dilemma with paper towels. Once again I whipped out my trusty pair of scissors and cut a huge swath through the roll ending up with only a few pieces.

Trying to find an answer to a problem for something that might be wrong with your phone, or a product that’s got a missing part, or trying to reach a department in a store can turn into a harrowing experience. I have pushed one for English, three, four and god knows how many more numbers before a real person comes on, only to have to hear that my call may be monitored for training purposes and quality assurance. I think getting an authentic human being rather than an imitation might really up the quality. The clone never seems to understand my requests, and persists in giving me responses I have to keep saying no to. I have come close to feeling rage that I knew no amount of deep breathing was going to alleviate.

A sad state of affairs for a woman who teaches stress management.

Hair spray never really seems to spray for very long. It starts to spurt and spray as if it’s on its last leg. I was told it gets stuck and that I needed to put it under hot water to release it. Why should I have to take time to release something that costs more money than its’ worth? Shouldn’t someone come up with a spray can that releases itself? I have face cream that has a pump that’s supposed to dole out just the right amount. The only problem is that you have to first find the right position to unlock the pump. This is akin to trying to open a safe that you don’t have the code for. Mostly I unscrew the top and just dump it into my hands. Unfortunately when it gets three quarters of the way down, you can’t get more than a drop out of the bottle and that takes major effort that leaves you beet red and sweating. I’ve often decided to just leave my face without the miracle moisturizer and face life dried up and sane. I’m convinced this is a clever way to get you to buy another bottle.
Oh there’s lots more stuff that drives me nuts, but I bet I’m not the only one that gets a little crazed from all of the above. I’d love to hear some of your rants. Write me we’ll commiserate.

About lorettalaroche

An international stress management and humor consultant whose wit, and irreverent humor, has, for over 30 years raised the humor potential in all of us. She is on the Mass General advisory council for anxiety and depression and was recently awarded the National Humor Treasure Award. Loretta writes a weekly newspaper column called, ‘Get a Life’.

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9 Responses to I Want to Rant About Things I Find Maddening.

  1. Abiola says:

    Thanks for giving us permission to vent and scream!! 🙂

  2. Dianne says:

    I so agree with you on the sad state of customer service. If you do finally get to a real person, they are mostly untrained, uninformed and following a scripted list of responses. Twice in the last few months I have called to report that my internet service was out and both times they told me to make a service request online! No wonder we are all stressed to the max. We are stuck dealing with products that do not work and customer service that does not serve. Thanks for the chance to rant. I am looking forward to one day attending one of your lectures. I have enjoyed several of your books.

  3. Laugh out loud, Loretta… I am so glad I’m not the only one who struggles with those annoying produce bags in the grocery store. Honestly, sometimes I’m there so long trying to open one of them that I laugh right out loud at the thought of someone watching me.

    No doubt I’ll laugh again next time… just because I’m picturing you doing the same thing!

  4. mak says:

    Thanks, Loretta for your “right on the nail” comments. I have watched and read your material many times.
    What can we do to get the Orlando WMFE PBS to broadcast your latest program? I have requested it on my donations but nothing. ideas? Blessings galore.

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  6. Karen Auld says:

    I’m sick of the evening news. My husband and I live with my Mom, who needs to watch the news. She won’t use a computer and the local newspaper doesn’t cover it all. So pretty much nightly, I get stuck watching the news.

    Just a few minutes of the news and you would think we were back in the wild west. Crime, abuse, corruption. It’s the same crap every night. Just the names change. Even sports is all a drama feast. And I hate when the anchors but in their two cents. It’s the news. You report it and I decide how I feel about it.

    Oh but, one feel-good story at the end should make it all better.

    Thanks, Loretta. I feel better. And you should get a radio show!!!!

    • annette143 says:

      The nightly news is a “bucket-o-blood” and commercials are just as bad
      they show us what we are supposed to want.
      “take Hall’s for a sore throat so you can go to work sick”
      i.m.o. going out while sick is how come we have a resurgence of Whooping Cough, a disease we’d all but stamped out!

      T.V. was new when I was little.
      Hop-a-long, Roy & Dale .. morality, idealism ..
      preferable to me than ‘Reality T.V.’ {how low can we go?
      .. watching a landlord invade a tenant’s icebox and pee in the food x_x
      Since I’ve been playing Loretta’s DVDs the only show I enjoy is Dog Whisperer!
      Loretta, on your Radio show would you be taking calls?
      Got any ideas who you’d like for a sponsor?

  7. annette143 says:

    Ha ha ha! “I have come close to feeling rage that I knew no amount of deep breathing was going to alleviate. A sad state of affairs for a woman who teaches stress management.”
    I’m remembering your line ” I’m out of estrogen and I’ve got a gun”
    .. wishing I could find the eye of the octopus .. not fight it’s tentacles ..
    I keep getting told: “they don’t make that anymore”
    nothing seems like it’s being done for the Right reasons.
    Maybe you could be on the air? Roseanne got herself a radio show.
    there’s some relief to be had when we bitch and others agree.
    That gives me hope there will be a turn-around of priorities.
    What seems to be [around me] people are too young to know what it was like when things weren’t so insane.
    maybe that’s what we can do? recreate some of the unity we felt and share that?
    Loretta, I’ve been playing “How Serious Is This?” on repeat play for hours and I can’t get enough!
    Your positiveness and fun side you show on that tape is keeping me company.
    Thank you So Much!

  8. Dana Read says:

    Hi Loretta,

    Caught your show in Lowell last week and LOVED it!

    Just wanted to share this newly released book w/you. I’m not the author, promoter or publisher and I don’t make a dime off of it. I am the mother of two beautiful nonverbal boys w/autism and find myself “Blessed With The Mess” day & night, which is why I wanted to share this w/you.

    The author, Kim Stagliano is originally from Massachusetts & the mother of 3 (yup, I said 3!) girls w/severe autism. She tells the story of her family’s life w/a raw honesty and humor that many of us “Mother Warriors” can truly appreciate. Hard to believe you can laugh about autism but on most days laughter is our only comfort and much better than any of the alternatives.

    I hope you have a chance to familiarize yourself w/Kim’s work. I really think it does embody your slogan “Blessed With The Mess!”

    HAPPY VOTING DAY:)!

    Dana Read
    Methuen, Mass. (The thing that drives me nuts? Peeling the backing off of the Target knock-off Crest teeth whitening strips! I swear I don’t save any $$ because I end up throwing half of them away. Cheaper than professional whitening I guess:)

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